Prussia x Depressed!Tomboy!Reader - What About Me?

Taking a deep breath, I put on a fake smile and walk through the school doors. The loud chattering of students around me fill my ears as I make my way to my lockers. I silently move around the bustling crowd of teens, yawning slightly. I open my locker and grab my books. I finish what I have to just in time for the loud bell to ring, signaling us to move to class. I sigh, clutching my books closer to myself and walking to class. Just stay away from the others. . . I'm different, right? I don't fit in. . . right? It's why I'm alone. So what if I hate make up, or fashion? So what if I have a different opinion than the other girls I know? It. . . it makes me unique, or so the adults say. That no one can take that from me. They never think about. . . what if I want to fit in? What if I don't want to be different? I don't want to be unique, I want to fit in. Maybe then I'd have friends. . . I turn my head and see Gilbert Beilschmidt, the "Prussian" as he likes to call himself walking with his two friends Antonio and Francis. I smile sadly and look down. He's different too, and he has friends. What's the difference with me? Maybe I'm just meant to be alone. . . I step into class and get ready for today's lessons.

I prop my head up on my hand as I poke my food with a spork. I wonder where my "friends" are now. I wonder if they even know I'm gone or if they even care.

"Hey, ______!" My eyes widen as I now hear a voice calling my name. I turn around, and see Gilbert again. I give a small wave to him as he walks over to me with a smile.

"Do you need anything?" I ask.

"Why are you all alone?" he asks, taking a seat next to me. I scoot a little bit away, but place a fake smile on my face.

"Ah, don't worry about it. I'm perfectly fine! My friends are busy, that's all," I say, hopefully convincing enough. I'm not okay at all. . . I want someone who can see that, and help me. . .

"So are mine. Don't worry, though! The awesome me will keep you company!" My eyes drop to my food that's uneaten. He's probably going to leave me like the rest. A small smile shows on my face. Temporary happiness is better than none.

"Well, thank you then Gilbert. What are your friends off to right now?" I ask, starting conversation. I hear his loud laugh that could be obnoxious to some.

"Ah, they got Lunch detention. I escaped just in time, though I wonder if I can bail them out. . ." A look of thought appears on his face, and I look at him.

"But won't that get you in trouble too?" I ask.

"Well yeah, but they're my friends! I'll have to make it up to them later by pranking that Austrian, Roderich. Oh man that'll be fun!" he exclaims, a smirk on his face. A smile appears on mine as I talk with him more.

"What will you plan to do?" He stops and thinks again, as if he's a born strategist running through all the possibilities in his mind.

"Good question. . ." he mumbles.

"Well, Roderich is going out with Eliza, right?" I ask. His red eyes meet mine, and he nods, thoughts starting to come together.

"Yeah. . . Maybe I can sabotage one of their dates! What do you think, Gilbird?" he asks excitedly. Gilbird? All of a sudden, a little yellow chick pops out of his snowy hair, peeping.

"What the heck? I thought pets weren't allowed in school!" I exclaim, laughing.

"Shhh. . . Gilbird's an awesome pet! I can't just leave him alone! That'd be so unawesome!" he says, pouting. I smile, shaking my head.

"Alright then. Unawesome isn't a word, though, is it?" He crosses his arms, pouting.

"It is so a word! I say it's a word, and so my awesome powers will make it a word!" he exclaims.

"And what are your 'awesome' powers?" I ask, teasing.

"Being awesome, of course!" he exclaims, and a chirp from Gilbird agrees.

"Is that it?" I ask, crossing my arms as well.

"Being awesome is enough though, isn't it?" he asks, his pout now a grin. I smile, uncrossing my arms.

"Mm. . . maybe for you. Maybe," I say, emphasizing the last word.

"Aw, you're no fun ______," he says, uncrossing his arms as well and ruffling my hair.

"H-hey! Quit it!" I exclaim, laughing as my hair is now a mess.

"At least you're not like one of those girls who would kick my butt if I did that," he says, laughing and withdrawing his hand. I place my hands up to my hair to hopefully tame it slightly, but I give up and instead just leave it like that.

"I don't value make up, fashion, or any of that kind of stuff like other girls. Found it useless and a waste of money," I say, smiling, "but thanks for the 'make over', Gilbert."

"No problem! Now you look awesome!" he says, a large smile on his face. I laugh, playfully punching his arm.

"You weirdo."

"So are you~! But hey, we're awesome weirdoes!" he says, softly punching me in return.

"That's a nice way to look at it," I say, then pausing before continuing with a smile, "and. . . thank you Gilbert." He tilts his head at me.

"What for?" he asks. I look down at my food, glad that I can finally smile for real.

"For. . . giving me something that I thought I lost long ago."

"What-" The bell rings, cutting him off. I smile, then pick up my tray that holds my still uneaten lunch.

"Bye, Gilbert," I say, smiling and grabbing my backpack. I walk away from him and throw the food away, then continue on to my class. He did so much more than he thinks. He made me smile truthfully for the first time in years.

I go to school, feeling a lot better than I had in years. The sun seems to be brighter, and my steps feel lighter. It reminds me of the time when I had not a care in the world. I wonder if he would want to talk to me again. It'd be really nice. . . He seems like I could be. . . his friend. Stepping through the doors, I look over the crowd as I'm ignored. The students around me just smile and talk with friends. I search for Gilbert, and eventually find him talking to Francis and Antonio. I smile, then walk over to them.

"Hey, Gilbert," I say, hoping to gain his attention. He turns around, and then a smile appears on his face.

"Oh, hey _____! Guys, this is _____ _____, the girl that I was talking about!" he exclaims. He was talking about me? Francis smiles and waves at me.

"Bonjour, ______." I smile back, nodding.

"Nice to meet you!" I say happily.

"Hola~ How are you doing today?" Antonio asks, his voice cheerful as a large smile is on his face. I laugh a little, his happy appearance contagious.

"I'm alright. Thanks for asking!" I say, glad to have possibly made some friends.

"Alright, now that we're all settled," Gilbert says, "how should we prank Roderich?" A mischievous grin settles on all of their faces, and I now know why they all get along so well. Perhaps that's also where their name Bad Friend Trio, or more popularly known as, Bad Touch Trio came from.

"I suggest we fill his piano with tomatoes!" Antonio says happily. I laugh at his outlandish suggestion.

"But Antonio, wouldn't you need a lot of tomatoes?" I ask.

"Oh, don't worry about that, Antonio grows a lot of his own tomatoes," Francis says, waving me off with a smile.

"Still, I don't think it's enough though," I say, laughing. Gilbert thinks for a while with the rest of us.

"Alright, then what about. . ." The four of us continue to brainstorm, but soon the bell rings. I get my stuff and then wave goodbye to my new friends. Maybe they won't leave me. Maybe I can stay with them. . .

"They're a bad influence," my teacher says to me once all the students have exited the room.

"What?" I ask, starting to regret staying behind from the teacher's orders.

"Gilbert, Antonio, and Francis. They're not good students, you know. I'd rather you not get mixed in with them. . ." the teacher says to me. I tighten a grip on my books, and say,

"They're my friends though! I know they're not good students, but I promise it won't affect my grades!"

"I'm sorry, ______, but I really do advise you to stay away from them. I'm sure they're wonderful friends to you, but education matters too." I look down, not wanting to accept the words coming out of the teacher's mouth.

"They're still my friends. I know education matters. That's why I'll keep my grades up, but I still want them to be my friends. I promise I won't fall behind!" I exclaim, looking up.

"I know you really care about them, but quit while you're ahead. It will only be more painful later." I pause, then walk out of the room. Are you kidding me? I don't want to leave them! They're so kind, and they make me feel happy! So what if they like playing pranks, they're still wonderful people at heart. I don't care what they say.

Prussia's P.O.V.

I laugh with Antonio and Francis as we continue to crack jokes in the hallways. I can't wait until lunch. I'm sure that we'll be able to be good friends to ______.

"Gilbert, Francis, Antonio, may I have a word with you?" a teacher says. The three of us pause. What did we do this time? Did they found out we dropped water balloons on random kids as they stepped out of school yesterday? I glance at my friends, and they're just as confused and worried as I am. Should we go? I hear a sigh, and the teacher continues, "You're not in trouble. This time." Well that clears things up. I walk towards the teacher, hands in my pocket.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Well, you know _______, correct?" I slowly nod, then look at Francis and Antonio. They shrug. No help here.

"What about it?" I ask, turning my attention to the teacher.

". . . I worry that you might be a bad influence," the teacher says, looking at us.

"A bad influence?" Antonio asks, speaking up. Nodding, the teacher continues.

"I'd rather not have someone's grades or behavior slip when they still have so much ahead." I clench my fists, already regretting going over here.

"So what, are you saying we can't be friends just because we like to joke around?" I ask, anger obvious in my voice, as if it's not even mine anymore.

"Look, I know that you love to play around, but sometimes you can take it too far. You three are known to always get in trouble, and I'd rather not have ______ join you. It's best for all of you if you just stopped now while it's still possible." I look down, and unclench my fist. What if that's true. . . ? What if we really are best not talking? Ah, but meeting _____ was so nice. . . We all got along so well. . . Would it really be that bad if we stayed friends?

". . . We'll be going now," Francis says. Antonio and I agree, and we all turn to walk.

". . . Think about what I said," the teacher says. We start to walk, but it isn't as joyful as before. It's. . . tense.

"What do we do, guys?" I ask.

"Do you think that it's true?" Francis asks, looking down.

"I. . . don't know," Antonio answers. I shake my head.

"Neither do I. What If it is true?"

"Then. . . maybe it is best if we leave _____ alone from now on," Francis says with a sad sigh.

"I feel so bad. . ." Antonio says, looking down.

"We could've been an awesome quartet," I say with a sad smile.

Your P.O.V.

I sit down at a table, deciding to wait for Gilbert and the others. I wonder where they are. . . I'm sure they'll talk to me again, right? They seemed really nice and I don't want to leave them just because a teacher said so. It'd be uncool, or "unawesome" as Gilbert would say. I see the trio, but they don't seem as cheerful as they did in the morning.

"Gilbert, Antonio, Francis! Over here!" I exclaim, a smile on my face and hand waving to get their attention. They turn their head to my direction, and exchange glances. Why are they pausing? Did I do something? Gilbert breaks from the other two and walks toward me, a frown on his face.

"______," he says, once close enough.

"What's wrong? Why are you guys acting strange?" He seems to look anywhere but me.

"I. . . don't know if we can be friends still," he says quietly. I pause, then look down at the table.

"Did the teachers ask you too?" I ask, not wishing for it to be true.

"Yeah. . ."

"Dude are you serious? I thought we were friends! I thought that we could actually get along!" I exclaim, unable to contain my emotions.

"_____, I-"

"No, do you think that this is the best solution? To just straight up leave me right after giving me hope that I could make friends? To just freaking say that we can't be friends after a day? A. DAY. You're just like the rest of them! I thought I could trust you! I thought I could, I don't know, fit in!" I let out all of my anger bottled up. He stands there, shocked. I can't believe this guy. . . No, I can't believe people in general. Give you false hope, and then throw it away.

". . . I'm sorry. . ." he mumbles. I turn so my back is to him. I can't even look at him anymore.

". . . Go." There's a pause, and then I hear footsteps slowly walking away from me. The situation finally falls down on me, and now that all my pent up emotions have been let out, all I can do is feel a single tear falling from my cheek and hitting my leg. I wipe my eyes with my arm, hoping no one saw. All I feel now. . . is nothing.

Walking down a lonely path by myself, the few stars hang overhead as I step. My head down, I fight tears that threaten to slip. Why is it that every friend I find has to leave me at some point or the other? I want someone to depend on, someone that won't just leave me! Is it that much to ask? I'm so alone. . . Why do I even try to know someone? There's no point. None at all. The one time I can find someone I can talk to, people want to tear us away. I don't care if he's a bad influence, he was my. . . friend. They were my friends. What about me? Doesn't my happiness count too? Taking in a deep breath, I force a smile on my face and venture on a cold road before me alone. No different, right? I've done it for years.